Through the Veil
by LordofAmus
Summary: His parents tell him being gay is just a phase but Alfred F. Jones doesn't believe it. He's terrified to tell anyone else though since the person he's in love with is his best friend. This is a story of a teenager struggling with their sexuality. Yaoi.
1. Prologue

Through the Veil. Prologue.

~\\~

Lyrics to Rebel Love Song by Black Veil Brides

I cannot hide what's on my mind

I feel it burning deep inside.

A passion crime to take what's mine.

Let us start living for today.

Never gonna change my mind.

We can leave it all behind.

Nothin's gonna stop us.

No, not this time.

So take your hand in mine, it's ours tonight.

This is a rebel love song.

Hearts will sacrifice, it's do or die.

This is a rebel love song.

My outlaw eyes have seen their lies.

I choke on all they had to say.

When worlds collide what's left inside?

I hold on tight and hear you pray.

Never gonna change my mind.

We can leave it all behind.

Nothin's gonna stop us.

No, not this time.

So take your hand in mine, it's ours tonight.

This is a rebel love song.

Hearts will sacrifice, it's do or die.

This is a rebel love song.

Wild and running for one reason.

They can't stop us from our freedom.

Wild and running for one reason.

They can't stop us from our freedom.

Never gonna change my mind.

We can leave it all behind.

Nothin's gonna stop us.

No, not this time.

So take your hand in mine, it's ours tonight.

This is a rebel love song.

Hearts will sacrifice, it's do or die.

This is a rebel love song.

Take your hand in mine, it's ours tonight.

This is a rebel love song.

Hearts will sacrifice, it's do or die.

This is a rebel love song.

~\\~

"Mom, Dad; I think I'm gay."

With the looks they have me in that instant, you would have thought I had pooped out an egg. Sure, I guess I dropped a bombshell on them. I did just inadvertently tell them that if it's true, they wouldn't get any biological grandchildren from me, I would never bring home a girl for them to meet and that all of their hopes for me might be affected by this.

But they didn't have to look at me like I was a freak.

"What did you say, Alfred?" my mother asked as if she had heard wrong. Maybe they thought I was playing a prank or thought I was saying happy in a weird way. I gulped, starting to sweat under their harsh glares.

I'm not going to back down, I told myself, heroes don't back down from a challenge.

"I-I said I think I'm gay." I mumbled. Well, forget about acting strong. My voice couldn't have possibly sounded any weaker or unsure. Their eyes burned into my skin, trying to look hard at me as if that would change my mind. I felt downright exposed; naked.

"Alfred," my father began with a sigh. Oh boy, I knew this wasn't going to be good. "You're too young for something like this. You're only fifteen..."

"I'm sixteen, Dad!" I interrupted. He frowned at me, his eyebrows knitting together in disapproval. Way to go, Alfred! Go make him even angrier when he's already pissed.

"Don't interrupt me, son." he growled in a low voice that sent shivers down my spine. "You're very young and your body is going through some changes. You don't know anything about your sexuality."

"Yes I do, Dad!" I argued back. It wasn't the wisest thing to do but I was never one for reading the atmosphere. I wasn't going to back down from this.

"Alfred," my dad began. I'm sure this wasn't a talk he had been planning to tell me. If this hadn't been such a serious conversation I would have started laughing. "Your sexuality is very confusing for someone as young as you. You're going to have weird phases and this is probably one of them."

"Are you saying that I'm weird?" I asked, not particularly offended since heroes aren't easily offended like that; but I have to admit that it did sting a little. I could see my dad's gaze flicker to my mom's for a brief second before looking back at me.

"No. I'm not trying to call you weird. I'm just saying that around your age your body's going to be changing. You're going to feel differently and you might not be gay." My dad explained. Hero or not, that comment stung. He sounded like he was convincing himself more than me; like he was convincing himself that his eldest son isn't gay as if being gay was a curse.

"Dad, I know I'm gay!" I retorted.

"Would you kiss a guy?" my mom asked. My cheeks grew hot in embarrassment at the thought of me kissing anyone besides my family; male or female. The question caught me by surprise. The image of Arthur immediately popped into my head. I could perfectly envision his emerald eyes, his bushy eyebrows and his soft lips. Yes, I knew I could kiss those lips but answering that question could also get me in trouble if I told them the truth.

"I-I don't know! I-I can't really imagine kissing anyone." I stammered.

"That's because you're too young to understand this. Your sexuality is a very sensitive subject. If you tell people, you'll get bullied and you don't need any extra stress in high school." my dad told me, sounding more like a shrink than my father. I could imagine myself lying in a red couch in a dim room while a fancy looking man who probably doesn't understand me in the slightest in a suit asked me how I was feeling. The thought almost made me laugh but I remembered where I was and what I was doing and controlled myself.

"But Dad, I..."

"Alfred, just listen to me for once. Don't tell anyone about this! Many people are sensitive about gay people and you don't know how your peers will react." Dad sharply instructed me. I had seen gay and lesbian people throughout my school. Sure, they got picked on occasionally but they can handle it and I know I could too! I just wanted to have a relationship like they had.

Although, I could never come out. The guy I like just so happens to be my best friend. Arthur is usually a bitch but he can also be a great friend. The thought of telling him I liked him made my body freeze with fear. I wanted to tell him with every fiber but I don't even know if he likes me like I like him or if he even approves of gays.

All this thinking hurt my head. It's not every day that I do so much thinking. I don't know how those brainiacs like Kiku do it every day.

"Alfred?" my mom asked softly.

"Hmm? Yeah?" I asked. Whoops. I guess I zoned out again.

"Just do yourself a favor and don't tell anyone." my mother said sweetly. I just frowned and nodded. So much for talking to them. Nothing like making me feel good about being a freak and liking my own gender. I turned away from them and climbed the stairs to my room. I would have to think of this later. Right now my brain really hurt. What I needed was some quality video games.

~/~

A/N: Prologue is boring. It'll get better I promise. Thank you to anyone who read my other stories. Lost finally made 200 reviews! Check out some of my other stories if you like them and be sure to drop a review. Love you and have a good day!


	2. Chapter 1

**Through the Veil. Ch. 1**

Lyrics to What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction.

_You're insecure, don't know what for.  
>You're turning heads when you walk through the do-o-or.<br>Don't need make-up - to cover up.  
>Being the way that you are is eno-o-ough.<br>_

_Everyone else in the room can see it.  
>Everyone else but you.<br>_

_Baby you light up my world like nobody else.  
>The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed.<br>But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell.  
>You don't know.<br>Oh oh.  
>You don't know you're beautiful!<br>If only you saw what I could see,  
>You'll understand why I want you so desperately.<br>Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe.  
>You don't know<br>Oh oh.  
>You don't know you're beautiful!<br>Oh oh.  
>That's what makes you beautiful!<br>_

_So girl come on, you got it wrong  
>To prove I'm right I put it in a so-o-ong.<br>I don't know why, you're being shy.  
>And turn away when I look in to your eye eye eyes.<br>_

_Everyone else in the room can see it.  
>Everyone else but yo-ou.<br>_

_Baby you light up my world like nobody else.  
>The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed.<br>But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell.  
>You don't know.<br>Oh oh.  
>You don't know you're beautiful!<br>If only you saw what I can see,  
>You'll understand why I want you so desperately.<br>Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe.  
>You don't know<br>Oh oh.  
>You don't know you're beautiful!<br>Oh oh.  
>That's what makes you beautiful!<em>

_Baby you light up my world like nobody else.  
>The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed.<br>But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell.  
>You don't know.<br>Oh oh.  
>You don't know you're beautiful!<br>_

_Baby you light up my world like nobody else.  
>The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed.<br>But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell.  
>You don't know.<br>No Oh oh.  
>You don't know you're beautiful!<br>If only you saw what I can see.  
>You'll understand why I want you so desperately.<br>Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe.  
>You don't know.<br>No Oh oh.  
>You don't know you're beautiful!<br>No Oh oh.  
>You don't know you're beautiful!<br>No Oh oh._

"Hey fatass!" an all too familiar voice yelled across the lunch room. Its owner, Arthur Kirkland, didn't even have to say my name and I knew who had said it and that he meant it to me. He didn't call anyone else fatass. He acted like a 'proper gentleman' to everyone but Francy-pants and I. But that's just because he loves us the most.

I looked over my shoulder and beamed heroically at him. "Hey Iggy!" I yelled back even louder. I could see the corner of his mouth twitch and I knew I had achieved my goal of annoying him.

"How many times have I told you to stop calling me that?" Arthur asked. It was hypothetical of course but that was a sure way to annoy him.

"Geez! You really can't expect me to count them all! I don't even think I can count that high!" I exclaimed.

"I doubt you can even count as high as ten." Arthur smirked. He set his textbooks down on the lunch table by all the others and nearly hung his book bag on the back of his chair. Strangely enough, everyone was up getting their food and we were the only ones at the table. I didn't mind though. I liked being alone with Arthur. Everything about him had to be 'proper'. He walked with perfect posture and despite having lived in America for six years now he still had a perfect British accent. It was kind of adorable considering how I knew that wasn't who he really was.

I'm one of the only few people who knew his secrets. No matter how many times he claims to be proper, he can't be fully proper until he gets rid of the image of him dancing in only a loin cloth and singing like a pirate about fairies or some other weird shit out of my mind. It'll be a hard job considering it's burned into my cornea.

"Ouch. That's harsh, Iggy." I said casually as I set my books down beside his. My stack was much smaller. Probably because I always forget to go to grab all the books.

"Put a sock in that big mouth of yours!" he snapped. His thick caterpillar brows knitted together making it appear as if he had just one thick, huge eyebrow. I was probably the only person in the world who actually found his eye brows attractive.

"Dude, seriously! How did you get those caterpillar eyebrows?" I asked with a grin. I can never stop grinning while I'm around Arthur. It's definitely not because my heart always beats like a school girl or because I hope that if I smile all the time that maybe he'll grow to like me. It's because...it's because...ok hell I admit it! It is because of those reasons but a hero never admits it aloud so I never will. 

Arthur sighed and glanced up almost as if asking God 'why?'. It made me chuckle quietly.

"Alfred, they're not 'caterpillar eyebrows'. They're perfectly normal." Arthur told me as if he was talking to a little kid. Granted, he probably was considering my maturity level at this moment but I could be mature if I wanted to...but I usually didn't, "And for the record, my parents gave them to me."

Don't ask me what I thought was so funny but I started laughing like a lunatic. Arthur chuckled quietly but cleared his throat in an attempt to keep himself under control which only made me laugh even harder. Arthur might be able to hold back his laughter but he was no match for the mighty pudding face that dominated his face.

His smile totally didn't make my heart beat faster or my face heat up. Luckily I was laughing so that it could cover up my blush.

"Dude, both of your parents don't have eyebrows as big as yours!" I exclaimed, still laughing.

"Maybe I'm adopted." Arthur joked.

"Dude!" I exclaimed loudly. "That explains everything then!"

Arthur's mouth dropped open and he put his hands akimbo on his hips. "What is that supposed to mean?" he asked, trying to sound offended. However, like British movies, British acting is nothing compared to American acting.

"I dunno. What is it supposed to mean?" I retorted playfully.

"I asked you first, Alfred!" Arthur snapped. Despite his harsh tone, it was plain to tell he was teasing me.

"You should know better than ask me anything." I told him with a grin.

"You have a point there." Arthur replied, nodding slightly in agreement.

"'Course I do. That's 'cause I'm the hero!" I exclaimed, striking a heroic pose. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Yeah. Sure you are." Arthur said sarcastically. "Hey, aren't you hungry?"

I jumped up from my chair immediately. "Oh yeah! I forgot!"

Arthur raised a thick eyebrow, "How do you of all people forget to get lunch?" he asked.

I couldn't tell him I got wrapped up in talking with him. He'd make fun of me for sure, "I snuck a snack last period so I'm not as hungry as I usually am."

Arthur believed it but I could see he somewhat doubted it, "Ok."

"I'm going to get my food." I declared. He just nodded and looked back to his books, flipping open his English book, Wuthering Heights. I hurried into line and grabbed my usual cheeseburger, fries, hot pretzel, a bag of chips and an orange juice. The lunch lady was used to me getting this much food so she didn't look at it oddly anymore. Looks don't really bother me though. I don't care what people think because I'm the hero and everyone loves the hero!

I hurried back to my table. Arthur and his stuff were gone but all my usual lunch buddies were there.

"Yo guys, where'd Iggy go?" I asked as I sat down beside my bro, Matthew.

"He said he had some kind of test to make up." Francis reported. He was sitting beside Gilbert, an albino dude, and had his arm around him.

"Got a boyfriend I see, Francy-Pants?" I asked.

Francis chuckled, "Oui. This is Gilbert."

I wasn't going to admit it but jealousy burned through me. I tried to imagine what it'd be like if I could sit beside Iggy with my arms around him. He'd probably look pretty pissed with a small blush but it'd be so cute that every girl would want to date him but they couldn't because he'd be mine.

I covered up my jealousy with a warm laugh, "Dude, I know Gilbert's name. We crash sometimes and his brother's dating that Italian guy."

Francis nodded and Gilbert grinned, "Yo, Alfred! I didn't know you stalked the awesome me!" he exclaimed.

I playfully rolled my eyes at him, "Dude, everyone knows it! If I was stalking you, I'd start spitting out your grades or what you do after school or something." I teased.

"Alfred, everyone knows that too." Kiku joked in his quiet, respectful voice.

"His grades suck." Francis smiled. Gilbert grinned devilishly to God-knows-what.

"And the only thing he does after school is drink and play video games." Matthew's girlfriend, Elizabetha told me. Elizabetha had been good friends with Gilbert since elementary school. She was rough to him but she could be very sweet and lady-like when she was around my quiet brother who she has been dating for a while.

"That not nice! You forget he does me after school too!" Francis exclaimed with a perverted grin. Nearly everyone's eyes got wide though we should have known better. I mean, it's FRANCIS and GILBERT! What did we really think they were doing?

"Dude, I'm trying to eat here!" I exclaimed. I couldn't get the discussing pictures out of my head and worse yet; images of me kissing Arthur clouded my mind.

"Well I want to eat right now too but I can't!" Francis exclaimed with a grin. He quietly leaned over and whispered low words into Gilbert's ear which only made the albino smirk even more.

"Francis!" everyone yelled. The table was silent for a few moments until Gilbert broke it with his weird laughing.

"Kesesesese!" he laughed. Francis smirked lightly.

Everyone turned back to their food and started chatting individually. I started talking with Kiku as I finished up my huge mountain of food. I would be lying if I said this wasn't our usual lunch table. Granted, Iggy would be here yelling at Francis for being improper but Francis would just say things to make him even angrier.

After lunch ended, I had three more periods left; World History, Biology and English. Luckily, Arthur was in my World History class. Unfortunately for me, Arthur must have been making that test up for the entire World History period as well since he wasn't in class. So I actually had to pay attention in class instead of bug Iggy as he tried to pay attention.

Biology and English were just as uneventful. I headed out to the bus as soon as English was over and pulled out my handy-dandy cell phone.

From: Alfred.

To: Iggy.

Hey Iggy. Wher were u in History?

I sent the text and plugged in my ear phones as I waited. I turned on Linkin Park just as my phone vibrated.

From: Iggy.

To: Alfred.

Test.

I chuckled. Iggy always had a way with words. Ha ha ha, no. I quickly sent back a reply.

From: Alfred.

To: Iggy.

O. Wel it wuz borin w/out u.

I played temple run as I waited for a reply. Just as my man ran into a tree, my phone vibrated.

From: Iggy.

To: Alfred.

Maybe you actually paid attention for once. Can you please type out your words? I can't understand that bloody text language.

I had to laugh at that one. He was my age but you would have thought he was my grandpa or something by the way he talked and acted.

From: Alfred.

To: Iggy.

Aww. Party poopr. Way 2 ruin mi fun. Its quickr ths way.

I sent the text and waved at some cars outside the window. Some people waved back but most didn't see me.

My phone vibrated again, making me jump.

From: Iggy

To: Alfred.

Well, I'd appreciate it if you do.

I smiled affectionately and quickly sent a reply.

From: Alfred.

To: Iggy.

Ok fine. I'll be a good boy and type things out for you.

His reply was much quicker. I don't think he was kidding when he said that he couldn't read text language.

From: Iggy.

To: Alfred.

Thank you.

Just as I was about to send a reply, the bus slowed to a stop at my bus stop. I quickly stuffed my phone into the pocket of my bomber jacket and grabbed my bag. I hurried off the bus behind my brother and we both headed inside.

Once reaching the house, I sighed silently. Another normal day. Hopefully maybe one day, I'd be able to say that it wasn't a normal day and that Arthur finally admits that he liked me the same way I liked him.

**A/N:** OMG GUYS! I love you so much! I never expected all those lovely reviews and favorites! Thank you so much and please continue to send in your thoughts. Sorry this chapter was kinda boring. It matters to the story so I really couldn't spice it up any more. The next chapter is gonna be slower. I need to plan this out and I have other stories to update. If you have anything you want to see happen, send in a review and I might fit it in the story. ;)

**GreenAppleAddict:** I'm not quite sure how long I'm planning on making the chapters. I haven't planned anything out yet so I'm just winging the first two chapters. ^_^ Thank you so much for your review and your interest. 3


	3. Chapter 2

Through the Veil. Chapter 2

A/N: Sorry for the long wait guys! I still haven't planned anything other than this. I think I might wing it; that way I can take suggestions for what you guys want. So if you want anything to happen, just send in a review and I'll definitely think about it. Thanks guys, love ya!

An uneventful week dragged on by. When would summer get here? Oh yeah, it was only the second marking period and it was a Monday. Wonderful. As I was saying before I interrupted myself, a week passed and nothing really exciting happened. I had a few tests which I, of course, failed. Arthur shook his head in disappointment at the results of my test. I thought it was endearing that he did that. To me, it meant that he either knew I could do better or that he wanted me to do better.

I am sitting in my second period class. Damn it's boring. Who cares about dumb old chemicals? The only fun thing in this class is labs when we actually get to mix chemicals together and watch it do freaky things. Unfortunately, there was no lab for today and I really had to pee. I tried to wait as long as I could to get the notes but when my eyes swam with yellow liquid; I knew I couldn't wait any longer.

I quickly signed out and raced heroically down the hall to the nearest bathroom. I didn't even wait to get into the bathroom before I pulled my fly down. Luckily, no one else was nearby. I burst into the bathroom, whipped out Good Old Florida and drained that son of a bitch. After I had finished, I took my good old time walking back to the class room. Did I ever mention how much I hate school? It's so boring. When am I ever going to need to know how certain chemicals react? Or know how to identify a person's child by a blood sample? I can answer that question: never!

To take my mind off class and school as I walked back to class I thought about my plans for the next few days. Again, nothing too exciting. Looks like it will be just me and Tony and my gaming system for a while.

While I was thinking about the next game I should buy, the sound of taunting laughter shattered my thought. Being a hero, I can easily tell when anyone is getting bullied. Arthur says I'm just being ridiculous when I tell him my 'Hero senses are tingling' but 99% of the time, I'm right.

I follow the sound of the laughter to a different hallway. Score one for me; I am correct yet again. Three big guys have one average built guy pressed against the lockers. I instantly recognize the kid as Toris; some Lithuanian kid who recently came out of the closet, if you know what I mean.

I didn't really know the kid but ever since he came out; I started to admire him. Not like a secret admirer or anything; I am loyal to Arthur. I respected him and, in a way, was jealous of him for having the guts to come out. I know he used to get teased before by that commie, Ivan but as far as I knew, he never really got beat up.

Looks like the kid might now. Ivan wasn't part of the group of guys. Actually, the hallway was barren except for the four boys and myself, peaking from around the corner. I didn't recognize any of the boys picking on Toris but judging by their expressions, they looked vicious.

My hero senses kicked in. I puffed out my chest and prepared to go into the hallway when I finally heard their conversation. I stopped dead in my tracks. Toris had big tears in the corner of his eyes and was trembling in fright. The poor kid was always picked on and yet he was one of the nicest people I know. He may be quiet but he is polite. He is always nice to people, even the Russian commie who teases him practically every day. He doesn't deserve to be picked on; he never did anything to anyone yet he is anyway just because he is gay. It's completely cruel and unfair.

"What? Are you going to cry?" one of the boys ridiculed. A chorus of laughter escaped the boys. Toris desperately tried to blink the tears out of his eyes. Despite his efforts to appear strong, he still appeared weak and gave the boys the satisfaction they craved for. It was heartbreaking to see the boy like that. I wanted to help him so bad that it hurt.

"Isn't your boyfriend here to save you?" the one teased. He leaned down so that he was just inches away from Toris' face. The poor guy leaned as far back as he could in the limited space, his eyes wide in fear. When he stayed silent the boy gripped his shirt by the collar, lifted him away from the lockers and slammed him back into it. Despite his hardest efforts to not show his pain, Toris cringed painfully as the metal locks digging into his spine.

"Answer me when I talk to you!" the boy growled. Toris gulped; his body visibly trembling.

"I-I-I d-d-don't h-hav-ve a-a b-boyf-friend!" the Lithuanian stammered. The poor guy was shaking like a leaf and could hardly speak but I was also rooted to the spot. I wanted to run in and help him but it felt as though my feet were cemented into the ground.

The boys all smirked and a deep chortle floated through the air, "That's right. And you know why?" he purred.

Toris was silent for a few moments before he stammered again, "W-w-why?"

The boys laughed. "Because you're a freak! No other boy could ever like you! It's against nature to be gay!"

Toris shook his head and closed his eyes. He obviously didn't want to hear what they had to say. Their words hit their mark; not only on Toris, but on me. What if I am a freak? What if no one will like me and I'll be alone all my life? What if I tell Arthur that I liked him and he hates me for being a freak; for having feelings for another man? Not only would I lose the person I loved, but I would lose my best friend. I stumbled back a few steps. My chest deflated and I lost all desire to be a hero.

Toris glanced over and his eyes met mine. He didn't say anything; he didn't have to. His eyes begged me to come over and save him. I had done it plenty of times before. I hated the Russian who picked on him and I helped him often, winning yet another battle in 'Cold War II' as I liked to call it. This time, I knew I couldn't save him though. I felt a strong urge to get up and run, to get as far away as I could. Yet, despite all this, my mind wasn't made up. At least not yet.

"Don't look away. You know it's true. You're a freak. No one loves you. No one ever loved you. You're just a burden and you poison the human race. You're useless and worthless and better off dead!" the boy spat in Toris' face. I couldn't take any more of their words. His words were horrible. A person didn't deserve death just because they were gay. It's not like they chose to be that way. It's like that saying "It's in your DNA, you're gay"…at least it's that way for me. I'm sure there are people who feel differently. These boys were obviously different. They didn't see the cruelty to their words; the unfairness and their blindness. They had spoken my worst fears aloud. My whole body quivered and broke into a sweat. I didn't even notice when I turned around and ran back to my class.

The entire time in class, I couldn't focus. The boy's words kept reverberating through my head. I had left poor Toris there all alone. It was bad enough for me to hear those words but what if it had been me and they said those things to my face? More importantly, what did they do to the poor Lithuanian after that? Did they beat him up? Ridicule him more? Make him feel so dirty and unnatural that he was considering killing himself. I heard Kiku read off some stats one time; Lithuania had the highest suicide rate. I could never forgive them and myself if Toris did anything.

Oh God...what if Toris really did do suicide? I might have been able to prevent it if I haven't been such a baby and ran away. Whatever happened to being a hero? To defending those who needed help the most? As much as I hated to say it, I had been selfish. Toris needed more help than I did yet I ran away. He looked at me, haven't said my name or brought me to the others attentions, and silently begged for help. How could I say no? How could I turn around and run away like I had seen nothing while he was begging for someone-anyone- to come help him. He was desperately hoping someone would to prove those boys words wrong. Yet no one probably helped, not even the schools 'hero'. I might not have slammed him against the lockers or said those words but to Toris I had agreed to those words and left him alone; proving that no one loved him.

All my guilt pooled in my stomach, angrily pounding its way up to my throat. I gagged a little in my mouth and felt the urge to get sick. I knew I wouldn't but it didn't make my stomach feel any better.

The thoughts plaguing my mind wouldn't leave. Even several trips to the bathroom wouldn't help. Luckily, I didn't see Toris any more today but that didn't make me feel any better or worse. I doubt I would have been able to stand seeing him again but I knew I'd have to do it eventually. It was inevitable.

By the time lunch rolled around, my stomach protested at any thought of food. I set my bag on the empty table and laid my head on my bag. My eyelids felt so heavy. Maybe if I close them and take a nap, I'll wake up and discover everything was just a dream. Unfortunately, Arthur walked over to the table just as I had started to drift into a light sleep.

"Hey fatass, why are you napping on the table? I'm not cleaning up your drool." he teased, setting his bag on the table.

I sit up and rub my eyes and mouth. I look up at the Brit and quickly revert my eyes. The boy's words echoed through my skull, calling people like me a freak. I couldn't stand to look at Arthur. As much as I loved his emerald eyes or his bushy eyebrows or even his mouth that constantly frowned, I couldn't look; it was much too painful to think of. To think of them all looking at me negatively, eyes dark with hatred, eyebrows furrowed in disgust and his mouth tugged in a frown, for coming out and telling him that I liked him was too hurtful to think about. I cared about him too much to jeopardize our friendship for an even deeper relationship.

"Hey," Arthurs tone was much softer, "Is something wrong?"

I was surprise by his tone. I had never heard it before and for him to be so kind to me was completely new. I shake my head and force myself to look up. I know I'm not a hero now but I still feel that need to keep Arthur from worrying.

"No. I'm just tired." a tired grin is forced on my face. "I stayed up too late...studying."

"Studying?" Arthur asks, raising a thick eyebrow. What the hell did I say studying for? Not even I believe that lie.

I let out an exasperated sigh. Thankfully, I'm American so I am an excellent actor, "I was playing video games with Tony again. We didn't get to bed until one."

Arthur buys that story. He rolls his eyes. "Alfred, how many times have I told you that you need sleep and that aliens don't exist."

"One, I had coffee," I tell him, "And two, aliens totally exist. You belief all that weird magic and fairies and unicorn shit but you don't believe in aliens?"

Arthur sighed. "Coffee is not a substitute for sleep like you bloody Americans seem to thing," and with that statement, my brain stops thinking since he launches into a long discussion about why fairies, unicorns and magic is real. Normally, I would attempt to pay attention but I'm just not in the mood today.

He must notice that I'm not planning to get lunch but doesn't say anything. It's odd for me to act this way and Arthur must be worried. I work up a smile and laugh at his reasons for why fairies, unicorns and magic exist. I didn't hear it, as I had said earlier but in the long years of our friendship, I had received this speech multiple times and it seldom changed.

"Whatever you say, Artie. I still don't believe they're real." I chuckled. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. I don't need to prove them to you." he got up to get his food as the others started to sit down and start talking. Gilbert and Francis, of course, started bragging about their 'awesome sex' they had. I lost any trace of an appetite that I had. Mattie and Elizabetha ignored them and talked quietly to each other. Kiku silently read his book, insisting that he read it twice for the finals months away. No wonder the kid gets straight A's.

Everyone was too preoccupied to notice my lack of food or 'heroic energy'. I'm not complaining by any means. It feels nice to have some peace and quiet. I laid my head on my bag and closed my eyes once again. I was almost asleep when Arthur slammed his tray on the table.

"You Americans need to learn your manners! You're so bloody rude; always shoving and pushing and cutting in line!" Arthur ranted as he sat down.

"Oi!" Gilbert retorted. "I'm Prussian, thank you very much!"

"And I am French; I am born with manners!" Francis added, tossing his curly golden hair behind his back.

"Yeah right! If that were true, you would have thanked your mother for giving birth to you as soon as you were born." Elizabetha snapped playfully, "And I'm Hungarian!"

Ignoring Francis' comment that went somewhere along the lines of, "Nonsense! I thanked her for squeezing my beautiful body out of her vagina." Mattie quietly mumbled about being Canadian. Kiku was too engrossed in his book to proclaim his Japanese heritage. I was the only 'American' here. I don't know how we have so many people from different countries in our school or how they seem to all sit at our table but the nickname for our table is the 'United Nations'.

I find myself getting pulled out of my bad mood as my friends start arguing. I smile to myself; I can always trust my friends to inadvertently cheer me up. I might be a freak to everyone else but to them, I will always be the same person. I think about poor Toris again and I pray that he has friends like mine to help him and love him.

I join in the conversation shortly and I can feel Arthur's eyes on me near the end of lunch. I know he's been worried and that he just checking to see of if I was acting or not. It was touching that he cared. All too soon, the bell rang and I got up. After saying bye to everyone, I walked down the hallway with Arthur.

"Ok Alfred, what's up with you and don't lie to me." Arthur demanded, looking at me with an unwavering stare. It's as though he can see right through everything I tell him; like I'm completely exposed. I flinch away from his prying eyes and look ahead.

"Nothing's wrong." I tell him.

"Liar. I told you not to lie to me!" Arthur snapped. His state intensified and I could feel my body starting to heat up. My heart thumped hard against my chest in the way only Arthur could.

"I don't want to talk about it, okay. Just drop it." I tell him. Arthur was silent for a moment before nodding quietly.

"If you change your mind, I'm here." Arthur said. I smile softly and nod. I know I'm lucky to have a friend like Arthur. I want so much more from him. I want him to love me the way I love him. I want to hold his hand and be able to kiss him. I want to be the first person he thinks of when he wakes up and the last person he thinks of before he goes to bed. I want to make him feel beautiful and wonderful and I want him to be happy. That's why we can never do those things. Most of all I want him to be happy. But seeing what those boys did to Toris made me think. The same thing would happen to Arthur. I never want him to get picked on or hurt. Especially because of me.

So I guess I'm in love with someone I can never have yet I can't ignore my feelings. I love him too much to just let him go, yet I love him too much to let him get hurt.


End file.
